Introduction Notes:

Nothing explicit will be discussed here, in any linked article(s), or in any comment(s). However, at times I may go into detail about the subject. Discretion is advised. This is intended to be informative and as such I have done my best to be detailed so that it can be helpful to others, but also avoiding explicit details.

I am medically declared incontinent and since I am not a medical expert, I will not attempt to explain why. Basically, I have little to no control over my body when it comes to going to the bathroom.
Note: I do not support nor do I wish to have any association with the ABDL community (Adult Baby Diaper Lovers). I wear diapers out of a necessity and only after having tried other solutions (as will be discussed below). I would gladly stop wearing them if things ever changed. While not likely to be a popular one, if you would like my perspective on the ABDL community you can find it HERE – An Incontinent’s Perspective On ABDL.

If you are struggling with incontinence and would like to discuss it, feel free to email us [email protected] For both males and females who contact us, Sarah and I will jointly be a part of those communications to remain above reproach and for additional accountability. If you are a parent of a child struggling with incontinence or a child of a parent who is struggling please also feel free to contact us. If you wish to have a spouses perspective you should know that at this time we are not married and while we have discussed my incontinence, we do not believe in any intimacy outside of marriage. We will update these posts after marriage to give that perspective as well. We will not field any communications with those who are part of the ABDL community. We are happy to talk with those really struggling, but we have no interest in discussions with those who are fantasizing about it.

Incontinence:

What is incontinence? Incontinence is generally when you have little or no control over urination (peeing) or defecation (pooping).
What do I deal with?
     Urination (peeing) – For me, I rarely feel when I urinate (pee). Generally, it just happens. Unless I see it or smell it, I can go on without noticing it. There are exceptions however, sometimes when I have an infection (aka UTI) I can feel pain or burning. This also can occur when I have eaten something really spicy. Due to my spice tolerance I have to eat something outside of my comfort zone in order to experience this effect, as an example, I can consume ghost pepper salsa without this effect.
     Defecation (pooping) – In my case, I most of the time have control over defecation (pooping). I can always feel it happening, however there are instances where for some reason, it happens and I can’t stop it. This happens most frequently with an upset stomach that produces diarrhea. It should be noted that unfortunately as the years have gone on, things have gotten worse and despite trying to control it, the situation overall has gotten worse.
How do I manage it?
History – When I was a child, things started out with urinary incontinence at night only. I started with just wearing pull ups at night. As I got older I started using these pads during the day with normal underwear. They are honestly not much different from girls period pads but they are made for guys and urine not blood. That helped catch drips as I went through my day. Probably around the middle of high school (maybe ~16 years old) things got bad. I started using store bought tabbed diapers day and night. When I was around 19 and moved out of my parents home for the first time, I started exploring my options I came across Abena M4 (medium size, level 4 absorbency) diapers and they quickly became my preferred diapers for day and night. By 20 years old I was in Abena L4 (large size, level 4 absorbency) diapers 24/7. Those got me through many years. I still turn to them today, when I don’t have enough money to afford better products. I have also used Tena Proskin Briefs when I have been in a financial bind but they smell horrible once wet and I have found that the cost vs number of diaper changes throughout the day ratio didn’t add up. For a brief few months when I was around 21 I used catheters. They came out, the caused UTI’s and for me were not the right fit. When I was around 23 years old I found out about North Shore MegaMax diapers. Since finding North Shore, they have definitely been my preferred go-to.
Cost – Unfortunately, no matter what you buy; diapers, pull-ups, pads, booster pads, diaper rash, cream, lotion, powder, etc. It is all very expensive. Thus cost will always be a major factor when it comes to managing incontinence. From my experience, the good products are never covered by insurance. With my current insurance, I can charge it to the HSA for the tax benefit (I’m not a tax advisor. Please check with your tax person before doing so), but otherwise, they are considered a convenience item and not paid for at all. North Shore is quite expensive. Recently I’ve experimented with North Shore, and found the only way to achieve a leak-free day or night is to use an XL MegaMax and a medium size booster. At a cost of $3.87 per diaper change before extras (diaper rash cream, lotion, powder, etc.) and before taxes, that’s pretty pricey.
     Diaper Changes – Diaper changes depend strongly on the products being used. I’ll include a chart at the bottom of this portion general reference that is based on my personal experience, but it is generally going to be a case-by-case basis.
When To Change? For me, if an accident involving defecation (pooping) it always results in an immediate diaper change and usually a shower followed by diaper rash cream. For urination (peeing) depending on the product I’m wearing and if I’m using a booster, I generally can get 12 hours. I can usually change once, but after 24 hours a shower is a must, as things start to smell, and without a shower, a diaper rash is sure to appear.
          How Do I Change? 99.9% of my diaper changes are done by me alone. The only time I don’t change myself is when I’m incapacitated or when I have been in the hospital. They have often wanted to either put a catheter in or have the nurse change me. Either way, it’s not a fun experience. On the catheter front, they have always hurt, generally leak or fall out, and often result in a UTI for me so if I have a choice, I will say no. There’s nothing painful about being changed by a nurse, but it’s embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable for me. I hate it, and if given a choice I will ask them to hand me the diaper (never be afraid to tell them that you want to change yourself), and then I use the bathroom or have the curtain drawn and change myself.

Product Recommendations – The chart above shows my experience with each brand. Not sponsored, but I have to recommend North Shore’s MegaMax. I am planning on a review of different products and I will link those reviews here once completed. For now, I am working on reaching out to those brands to obtain permission to use their names and pictures on this site.
I highly recommend experimenting to find what works best for your body or the person you are taking care of. Different people will have different degrees of need. I can only speak to what works best for me.

Advertising Disclaimer: I / we are not sponsored by North Shore care but would love to be lol. In all seriousness, there they are not sponsoring anything for us, but I mentioned them because aside from cost, they are great products and will always be my go to in the disposable market. I / we are also not sponsored by Tena, Abena, or any other brands listed above.

Final Thoughts:

A Message To Parents: I sadly know of and have read of parents who punished their children for bed wetting. I can tell you in my case I have always wet the bed, if it wasn’t for wearing a proper diaper at night I would do so every night. Please please do not punish your child for their body. Especially since they likely have little to no control over their body. This isn’t a time for shame, this isn’t a time for yelling, and this is not something that a child should EVER be spanked for (yes, this is a real thing!). This is not a joke and your child should see a doctor. If they wake up in a wet bed, please choose to comfort them not punish them. Some even can be treated or out grow it over time. Others, like myself, will be in diapers until they stand before God one day. There are so many great resources out their for babies and children but as they get older (teen years and young adult) in my research there seems to be less and less resources. Also, there seems to be so much stigma about diapers. Why? We don’t have that around diabetes, broken bones, cancer, etc but yet for some reason incontinence is all hush hush. We need to do better as a society. Parents please I beg you, be a resource for your son or daughter. Help them find safe places to learn and try out products and come up with a good management plan. An important note, especially for teenagers, young adults, and adults. Be very cautious with searching the internet. There are some great resources, but this has also been turned into an adult entertainment space. There are plenty who sell products with the intent of selling exclusively to ABDL and they promote their products in a very erotic, sexualized, and sensualized way. I understand that this can be a very grey area but use caution when looking for products.

I hope that this information and my experience can be helpful to someone out there. God bless!